Folks, there's been a lot of chatter about Pat Narduzzi going to Purdue once this season ends. After weeks of bare-knuckled secretive negotiations between Purdue University and their next head football coach, Pat Narduzzi, the MEDIA in Pittsburgh finally mustered up the courage to ask about the inevitability of #PURDUZZI and what the coach said was SHOCKING:
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER REPORTER: Did you catch wind of the internet sending you to Purdue to coach them?
PROBABLE FUTURE PURDUE HEAD COACH PAT NARDUZZI: [look of abject shame, knows the cover is blown] No, I didn't, I don't look at that stuff. I'm [unintelligible] going anywhere.
OTHER APPARENT MEDIA MEMBER: What do you think of it?
DEFINITE FUTURE PURDUE HEAD COACH PAT NARDUZZI: I don't know who makes up those rumors [ed: neither do we]. You know, we don't need to talk about that but I can just tell you, it [unintelligible] happening. And from now on, I'm not even going to comment on it ... It [unintelligible] happening, you can take that to the bank.
Standing PAT? More like standing AT the podium being introduced as Purdue's next head football coach Pat Narduzzi, folks.
The local media hounded Narduzzi all the way back to his car and, in an unscripted and probably true moment, caught him gushing at the sights and sounds of his future job.
Needless to say, Twitter remains ablaze at Narduzzi's pending return to the Big Ten:
Others remain skeptical, like an Actual Newspaper, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:
We think that's a misquote. Anyway, the move doesn't make sense to this seemingly nice man who covers Syracuse football and basketball:
Usually these coaching rumors make sense to me but I don't really understand Narduzzi to Purdue. https://t.co/zcfoUeFWx4— chris carlson (@ccarlsononSU) November 3, 2016
And, hey, wait, this isn't funny:
We will continue to follow this absolutely real story, here at your Number One Trusted Source For Purduzzi News, Roar Lions Roar.