Mess Boards: Iowa Post-Mortem

By Tom Kelly on September 29, 2017 at 10:46 am
Jan 2, 2017; Tampa , FL, USA; Iowa Hawkeyes fans cheer against the Florida Gators during the first half at Raymond James Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports
11 Comments

So you all saw that game, right? If not, A) What's the matter with you, and B) Just go watch the final drive and come back. Go ahead, I'll still be here.

All caught up? Yeah, I know. Holy crap. I know that in my watch party that last play led to more screaming than at a Klingon Death Ritual (Google it). You know who didn't enjoy that last play? Iowa fans, especially Iowa fans on the internet.

calm down guy, it's not like he mooned the crowd

It probably says a lot about Iowa's delicate sensibilities that Juwan Johnson putting his finger up to his lips to shush the crowd after an incredible walk-off win is a portent of the end-times. 

And Johnson probably didn't have a penalty called on him because the ref was doing it too.

this went well

As you can imagine, calling out Iowa's best defensive player went over exceedingly well.

kirk ferentz is a generous god

Oh sure, there's definitely no possibility that Kirk Ferentz was a teensy bit perturbed about his squad letting PSU march 80 yards down the field and score with 1:42 left in the game. No, it's definitely because Iowa's elder god head coach and the vigorousness of his handshakes are sole barometer of character in the realm of college football.

I, too, remember the first time I had several beers
boy, he's really still going, huh

So, lots to unpack here. I understand Pitt fans being less than pleased with the result. They had a tough day on Saturday, what with losing to Georgia Tech and getting brutally owned by Paul Johnson on top of that. And sure, Akrum Wadley is a fantastic running back, but he's no Saquon Barkley. Nobody is. 

But seriously, oh my god, you guys. This is the textbook definition of a Mess Boards post. They should have replayed the final play because of unsportsmanlike conduct? A pick play when all Johnson did was juke the DB out of his shoes? Ridiculous moral grandstanding? Mmmm. Utterly delicious. This is me right now. 

DE HURGEN FLURGEN WADLEY SHOULDA FALLEN ON THE 2 YD LINE DE CHICKEN
THE WIZARD

My guy, McSorley punted the ball after the last play of the game. It's not like  he did something truly offensive to Iowans after the game, like say that corn was an abomination or that Field of Dreams is just ok during the postgame interview.

Mmmmmm

*kisses fingers* BELLISSIMO.

11 Comments
View 11 Comments