Bryan Bresee's Junior Highlight Film is Absurd and Terrifying

By Rob Dougherty on October 10, 2018 at 9:11 am
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Bryan Bresee is a very large human and he plays football, which allows him to devour other humans.

Bryan Bresee, the No. 1 player in the 247 composite rankings for the 2020 class, is very much in the mix for James Franklin and Penn State. If Bresee were to commit to the Nittany Lions, he would become the highest ranked recruit since 247 started tracking recruiting data, edging out Derrick Williams. He's listed as a defensive end but he is a very large human and slides inside at times, and figures to do more at the next level. He is listed 6'5, and 290 lbs. He is also a high school junior. It is as captivating for fans as it is mortifying for his opponents. Bresee just released his midseason junior highlights, and they are insane. 

First off, shoutout to the coaches in Maryland who have decided that trying to block Bresee with one offensive lineman is optimal. Many of his highlights involve him shedding or straight up bullying a lineman in order to make what I can only assume is a very hard hit on the ball carrier. I'm not sure an entire offensive line could block him, let alone one high schooler who has enough teenage angst as it is, worrying about who to ask to the homecoming dance. That kind of pressure, plus Bresee's talent, is just simply far too much. 

I present to you a play with three acts. Bresee is lined up on the far right of the line. Act one is titled, "I am alone on an island with Bryan Bresee and he's going to destroy me." 

Bryan Bresee is going to beat up this lineman.

Act two is titled, "Bryan Bresee has destroyed me. I hope whoever has the ball can run fast. Where is the trainer?" 

Bryan Bresee has thrown this dude to the side.

Act three is titled "Oh my god Bryan Bresee is right there, RUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!" (narrator: it didn't work).

Bryan Bresee has made the play, and that could've gone better for the other team.

Two linemen are going to try and block Bresee on this play. Guess what happens next! 

Bresee is not able to be blocked by two humans.

Fullbacks are treasured possessions that do a lot of work without much fanfare. This high school fullback makes a business decision, ensuring that he will in fact be noticed after this game for the wrong reasons.

Fullbacks are great, but this guy does not want to do any fullbacking today. No sir.

This next part is titled by Sarah McLachlin, "In the arms of an angellllllll"

Bresee devours this RB and may not be touched at all by any player despite playing DT.

Most of Bresee's highlight footage is him just tossing around a lot of players who have no business being on the same field as him. He looks like he could be giving offensive lines in college trouble already, let alone the high schoolers he is matched up with right now. In this next still frame, Bresee does his best Brock Lesnar and sends some poor Maryland running back to suplex city. To make matters worse, that running back didn't even have the ball. 

Bryan Bresee might just be Brock Lesnar to be fair.

*record scratch* "You may be wondering how I got myself into this situation." 

You can watch Bryan Bresee's highlight tape at any point, for really any motivation that you could possibly need. Like seeing high schoolers get destroyed by a large human? Like seeing great football players do their thing? Like seeing ridiculous highlight footage that makes someone look superhuman? These are all acceptable reasons to watch Bryan Bresee be great at football.

Bryan Bresee is an animal on a football field, and there's no wonder why James Franklin and his staff are so high on him. Penn State will be fighting all of the elite schools for Bresee, and when you see the highlight footage you certainly see why. A high motor and a relentless attitude make Bresee an elite talent, and he will shine anywhere he goes. 

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