A few days before the Rose Bowl, Penn State Football's social media team fired off a tweet and Instagram of the team shortly after they completed their final workout of the 2016 season. Joe Paterno would never have allowed such a photo to be taken, but there also would have been no workout session due to the difficulty of transporting 30 Bowflex machines across the country.
Regardless, it was all innocent enough. Most of the guys were shirtless, the linemen stayed near the back of the group, and the tweet was mostly met with motivational replies from fans. We believe in you! Show the world why we should've been in the Playoff!
I can't speak for everyone reading this, but team photo certainly stirred up some feelings for us. First, petty jealousy. Second, contempt for our substandard genetics. Mostly petty jealousy, though. Still, the photo came and went, as did the Rose Bowl, as did the next two or three weeks until last night.
I'm honestly sweating pic.twitter.com/HsdJOmXkfY— brianna (@nyclieber) January 16, 2017
Brianna, a young woman from New York, tweeted the picture to her 4,000+ followers. Things then got weird and frantic on Twitter, because Twitter. Other women replied, helpfully circling their favorite players. Some of them could only respond with an image.
And dear lord, the gifs. So many gifs.
Some women started picking out their favorite players in the back of the photo, as if all the guys in the front had been claimed. It was basically Black Friday. The 65" TV's are all gone, but I know there are some $49 PlayStations in the back of the store, let's go!
Inevitably, the girlfriends showed up.
Free advice: don't play around with Maya.
And yes, of course the players found out and had some laughs of their own. Some of them helpfully pointed out their teammates to those asking "WHO IS THAT?".
Well my life is over the entire Penn State football team knows I'm thirsting after them pic.twitter.com/CRlHORiMEQ— brianna (@nyclieber) January 16, 2017
Now keep in mind, these aren't all the replies. These are the replies we felt comfortable posting for people who don't want to get fired at work. So if you decide to venture into that thread, be careful (but be prepared to laugh and laugh and laugh).
As the saying goes, I can't believe Twitter is still free. Thank you, Brianna. Thank you, world.